I’ve always been a “Sapiosexual”
a person who finds intelligence sexually attractive or arousing.“I’m a sapiosexual and I like to talk”
How I know I’m truly interested in someone beyond initial infatuation, how I know that I may just be willing to devote my elder years or hey, even consider butt stuff if they really really wanted to try, is; I become a brain monster. I want to learn. Not about them, not for them, but I want to absorb the world renewed by the chemicals firing in my brain- also know as ‘rose-colored glasses‘. Sounds a little fufu, eh? It’s science, so get behind it.
Of the many men I’ve met in the last year, only two have stimulated to this degree. What more interesting is that these completely different guys catered to opposite brains.
Suitor 1: Left Brain – a handsome and hilarious investment banker who, unlike his peers, avoids taking himself too seriously. On our last date, a high-stakes Trivia game, his good-natured wit and endless charm diffused an angry group of drunken skinheads not keen on losing their beer fund over, “Until 2015, which country enforced a ‘license to dance?” (Japan and yes, it is true) When the winning streak got us aggressively accused of cheating, he modestly attributed his vast knowledge to the daily accomplishment of the NY times crossword puzzle and used the night’s winnings to buy each neo-nazi a one-year subscription to the NY Times right then and there. Lord knows he doesn’t need the money anyway.
Suitor 2: Right Brain – a true bleeding-heart creative. We’re talking most eccentric, enigmatic, yet successful artist this side of Pablo Picasso. His paintings sell, his films win Oscars and his music is a pied piper song to millennials.On our last date, he suited up with buckets of paint and three enormous canvases at the east river overlooking Manhattan’s skyline inviting me to ‘experiment’ with him. Naturally, the nightlife of a Saturday in the city swarmed to us like moths. We’d navigate each new encounter with a collaborative strategy, finding out what the person saw in the paintings, encouraging each to add a touch or even just sign their name. There were laughs, there were tears, there were coming out of the proverbial closet to friends moments (i swear to you) and religious breakthroughs. Dude was David Blaine-ing brains all night.
After dates with Left Brain and Right Brain, I became ferociously hungry for independent knowledge. I found myself comparing the german economy to growth in the US and taking slow motion videos of toddlers blowing bubbles in the wind. I dusted off my old sewing machine and re-invented a tired but faithful staple from my closet. I joined the Brooklyn Public Library (I’ve always been a member of NYPL as if it were the only option) and wandered the aisle with arms full of books about artificial intelligence. My time management skills skyrocketed because of my necessity to make time for mental adventure.
So, why do I attribute new found curiosities and appreciations to these romantic encounters? How are they directly related and not just a shift in enthusiasm for exploring new things?